According to Stephen Leacock, the meaning of a doctoral degree from McGill is that “the recipient of instruction is examined for the last time in his life, and is pronounced completely full. After this, no new ideas can be imparted to him.”

And so, for your sake, I am sorry to inform you that on 2019 April 2, I successfully defended my doctoral thesis, The moral efficiency of clinical trials in anti-cancer drug development.
I will be absolutely insufferable about having those new letters after my name for at least another week.